Antidote for Heartache
by mistress amethyst une
Summary: For SV and Coco. Chakotay falls ill and has a long overdue conversation with Kathryn at his bedside. J/C one-shot.


**Disclaimer: **ST: VOY is at the top of the list of things that are not mine.

**Dedication:** For SV and Coco. Not sure if this is a sick fic. I did my best though. This hasn't gone through a beta reader so pardon me. I blame my thoroughly math-fried brain. I pray this doesn't bore you. Hope you two get better. This better not make you sicker. :(

**Antidote for Heartache**  
**By mistress amethyst une**

_Why is it better to love than to be loved?_

"Lie still," she implored.

He couldn't fulfill her wish. His body had begun to convulse uncontrollably. A mixture of spit and vomit trickled from his mouth. Whatever had led him to this point, he'd most certainly done his best to get it out of his system. The inability to form coherent sentences infuriated him as he lay on the ground. Yes, the ground…he could feel the soil invading his fingernails as his hands clenched. So they weren't on Voyager…where the hell was he? Who was with him? The poison coursing through his system refused to let him remember.

He forced his eyes open. The woman tending to him appeared as a blob of color. His eyes shut once more, and he felt himself being pushed down roughly.

"Seska?" he coughed out.

The effort of enunciating that one word drained him of strength. Was it Seska? No, Seska was dead. She'd been dead for years. But it had to be Seska! The taste of mushroom soup was still on his tongue. But that voice…he tried to remember the sound of Seska's voice. He couldn't. No, this voice wasn't Seska's. But it was familiar…

He opened his eyes again, using all his will power to keep them open despite how the light stung. The blob of color…it was predominantly red. The command uniform?

"K—"

This time, he was only able to produce the sound of the first letter of her name. Was it Kathryn? Red…predominantly red. But it wasn't a uniform…did she have red hair? No…the figure who was now turning his pockets inside out for his combadge wasn't a redhead. Blonde…oh hell. Why blonde? He'd gotten involved with far too many blondes. Who was this one?

"Seven of Nine to Voyager. Two to beam up."

"Oh right…that blonde," he thought as the transporter shimmered them off the planet. He blacked out during transport.

Chakotay found himself on a biobed when he opened his eyes. He was now able to see, and keep his body still. His mouth was dry but he felt no desire to drink. He felt no desire to put anything in that particular orifice for a good long time.

The first sensation he felt was that of something grasping his left hand. He turned and saw Kathryn at his bedside, his hand in hers.

"You had us worried for awhile. Seven's still very upset, but she'll be glad to know you're doing better."

He looked confusedly at her. "Why?" He felt a sense of relief as that single word tumbled from his mouth. It was good to know he could speak again.

Kathryn bit her lip at his question. He'd just recovered from quite the poisoning. Did she want to tell him this now?

"_I did as you advised," said Seven, telling Janeway as if reciting a report. "I prepared the romantic setting, a picnic during shore leave. I practiced my monologue to 'cushion the blow.' I even dressed up for the occasion. On that note, I would like to apologize for the damage to your clothing. Despite my superior agility, I could not dodge his projectile vomit. I will personally attend to the sterilization of your red dress. But returning to the topic at hand, I would just like to inform you that your way of 'breaking up' was inefficient. When he recovers, I will end the relationship my way."_

"_Seven, what exactly went wrong?"_

"_He became ill from the food. And then he called me Seska…"_

_Kathryn didn't hear the rest of what Seven said._

"Well, why wouldn't she be upset? I can imagine how worrying it must have been to see you in that condition. I'll tell you the rest when you're feeling better."

She rose to leave.

"She heard me call her Seska, didn't she? That's why she's upset."

She found herself seated once more. Damn it. She'd only come down here to watch him sleep, and maybe, show a bit of concern when he woke up. Just stay awhile to tell him how his girlfriend was doing and all that. She hadn't expected to be forced to stay and have a real conversation with him.

"Part of the reason."

He sighed. "I didn't mean to. I didn't know who it was with me."

"And Seska was the first woman who came to mind?"

"Stranger things have happened. Call it a fluke. Why do you ask?"

"_Just wondering why it wasn't my name you called."_

"Just curious."

He sighed. "Might have been because it was mushroom soup that made me sick. Seska was always fond of making that for me. I think Seven grabbed the wrong variety when she decided to make that dish. I remember feeling ill after eating that. I'll have to talk to Chell. He's not as good as Neelix when it comes to discerning which Delta Quadrant flora are edible. Better see if any of those mushrooms are still in the food stores. The rest of the crew might get sick."

"The Doctor already told me as much. Yes, it was the mushrooms. Apprently, there was a mix-up. Those mushrooms were for medical research some of the science officers were conducting. It was sloppy of them to keep specimens with food ingredients. But it's all been cleared up...the crew is safe from gastronomic disaster." She smiled weakly before clearing her throat. It had been awhile since they'd had a less than awkward conversation. Not since he'd begun dating Seven.

"My duty shift starts in half an hour," she told him. "I should be going."

Again, she rose to leave.

"Wait."

For the second time, the sound of his voice forced her to sit down.

"Before you go," he said. "I have to tell you something."

"What?"

"I know she's breaking up with me."

"Who?"

"Don't play dumb, Kathryn. You're the one teaching her how to dump me properly."

She averted her eyes. "I'm sorry. I tried to convince her not-"

"Thank you."

Those two words immediately forced her eyes back on him. He laughed.

"How did you know?" she asked.

"The soup. Seven didn't know what my favorite dish was. Seska knew…and so did you. Besides, I already knew my relationship with Seven wasn't going to last. She was going to break up with me eventually. With or without your help…"

"Are you angry that I interceded?"

"If she'd listened to you about not ending it with me, I definitely would have been. I made a mistake when I decided to date her. She and I…it just didn't feel right. But I would have stayed with her for as long as she wanted me. I could never bring myself to break her heart."

She knew she had no right to feel hurt. But knowing he would have stayed with Seven forever if…it was just too much.

"It would have made you unhappy to see Seven hurt," he added.

And he would have been doing it for her sake…

"Well, thankfully she's letting you go," she stated, trying to cut the conversation short. "You can pursue…other interests now. I'm going to be late."

She rose from her seat again.

"Do I really need to pursue?" he asked.

No, she would not sit down again. She desperately tried to ignore the sadness in his voice, and stood her ground.

"Right now, you're in no condition to pursue anything," she replied. "But in time, you'll be able to go after what you want. That is, if it's still what you want."

It was then that she decided to walk out of Sickbay. If she stayed any longer, she would miss her shift.

"It's what I'll always want," he whispered into his pillow.

He might have made her want to miss her shift.

_It is surer. –Sacha Guitry_

* * *

So yeah, finished. (bangs head) I hate my lack of inspiration.


End file.
